


I For You

by bootlegtruth



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Botched Proposals, Dildos, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, Jiwon with a manbun because why not?, M/M, Mild Smut, exes that are annoying lmao, jiwon says a lot of shit please forgive him he's from america, thigh fucking, villainish parents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24756265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bootlegtruth/pseuds/bootlegtruth
Summary: in which Hanbin takes Jiwon home but by the end of it, he realizes Jiwon is his home.
Relationships: Kim Hanbin | B.I/Kim Jiwon | Bobby
Comments: 32
Kudos: 95





	I For You

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, the Jiwon in this story does things to me and I swear he's the hottest (alongside dick piercing Jiwon), I wish you guys could see him from my imagination hahaha.
> 
> I also found it funny how they're in America but he's called Jiwon instead of Bobby.
> 
> (Title is from The All-American Rejects song because I'm predictable and I love them)
> 
> Edit: I'm just gonna dump here random (read: steamy) moments of them whenever I want lmao

“You’re nervous.” Hanbin tries to reach out for his hands, or even just one of them. He feels like he has the responsibility to _soothe_ him since he’s the one to bring it up. Jiwon shakes his head, looking back at him with comical disbelief. 

“No, I’m not.” The older smiles timidly. 

“You’re pacing.” Jiwon stops walking back and forth, sighing as he sits on the couch. He taps his lap for Hanbin to sit on and he gladly does, humming when Jiwon wraps his arms around his waist, closing in on his stomach. Jiwon rests his chin on his shoulder. He smells of minty aftershave and Hanbin thinks it’s probably his favorite scent. 

“How long have we been together?” Jiwon asks, his grip tightens and Hanbin places his hand on his forearm, tracing Jiwon’s prominent veins and the complex visual of black ink that he ironically finds attractive. 

“Almost a year?” Jiwon nods, head still pressed closer to him.

“And how long is that exactly?” The older whispers. He does it with his voice full of husk that he knows full well gets Hanbin weak. He would’ve rolled his eyes had he not been keeping himself from shivering. 

“11 months and a few days.” Hanbin answers, uncertain, wriggling away from Jiwon’s tight hold and the older loosens up, just barely holding on his stomach. 

“Okay.” The older trails off. “So we’ve been together for _11 months and a few days,_ why did you only plan to do this now?”

He turns his head to face him, frowning and pouting. Jiwon just raises an eyebrow, as if telling him to stop stalling and just answer. “I figured it would be nice of you to finally meet them. That’s all.”

The look on Jiwon’s face says something along the lines of _after 11 months???._ He could read him clearly since it’s what he always does whenever he doesn’t feel like being completely honest out of respect. 

“Do your parents even know you have a boyfriend?” Jiwon tilts his head. Hanbin pulls his lower lip in between his teeth. The conversation that they’re having is long overdue. 

“I mean, they know I’m living with you?” Jiwon groans, jokingly pushing him away and Hanbin laughs as he presses onto him firmly so he’ll never let him go. 

“Do they know I’m your boyfriend?” The silence after his question and Hanbin’s lips forming a tight line were enough for Jiwon to know the answer. “So, what am I to them?”

Hanbin doesn’t respond. He starts pulling the skin of his chapped lips, a thing he does when he doesn’t know what to do, or what to say. Jiwon always tried to fix it by kissing him (in appropriate places) or just flicking his lips with his fingers. The older doesn’t like it because he tends to overdo it until his lips bleed. Right now, even though they were in an appropriate place, having no one to see them but themselves, Jiwon flicks his lips. Hanbin _ows,_ glaring at the older and rubbing his lips with the tip of his fingers. 

“Answer me, Hanbin.” And then there goes his name. Jiwon usually calls him _baby._ Wow, look at where they are now. _This is all my fault._

“R-roommate.” 

In the span of 11 months, Hanbin and Jiwon had been through the different stages of being a couple. Their first kiss was spontaneous, with Hanbin initiating it because Jiwon claims he was too _respectful_ to do so. Their first time making love was incredible, with Jiwon asking him if he was okay every time he groans, thinking he was uncomfortable when he was anything but. Their first fight broke him, with Jiwon not coming home for a few days, and when he thought it would bleed into weeks, Jiwon was knocking on their front door with his favorite flower in hand. 

Jiwon has a disappointed look on his face, the hands wrapping around him falling to his sides and he wants to keep feeling his grip but the older just seems over it. He pushes him lightly; Hanbin has no choice but to stand up. He watches as Jiwon heads upstairs without even talking to him. Their bedroom door closes shut. Jiwon was gone.

Hanbin thinks he can fix this. He knows he can. He hopes he does.

///////

_11 months and a few days ago_

Hanbin was usually fidgety during the mornings. The fact that he didn’t have the chance to get his usual coffee because the queue was too long and he was running late should've doubled it. But he was over that already. His best friend just texted him, asked him to have dinner with him and now Hanbin has something to look forward to. That only means he’s less anxious, and less bored.

He’s been in the same job for 3 years. Working as a fashion columnist in the weekly Brooklyn magazine called _Trendn._ It pays enough for him to buy his own car, and enough to get his ass away from his parents’ house and rent an apartment. He didn’t want to quit. Never, actually. Do you know how much an apartment costs in Brooklyn? However, he did find the routine boring. Nothing new was happening to him and he feels like a robot doing the same thing over and over again. Sometimes, he wonders if he’ll die doing this job. How could people stay stagnant with what they’ve become used to? Of course, those thoughts only linger whenever he’s lost the inspiration to write. 

Anyway, he had known Song Yunhyeong, his best friend, since college. There was an invisible pact between them that the Koreans should stay together, and Hanbin was actually thankful for that. Even though they barely acknowledged it, sticking together helped them through tough times. It was actually very unlikely for them to hang out because they had different majors but they made it work by joining the same club. 

Which brings them back to now. It was a vital part of Yunhyeong's life. The guy just moved out of his old apartment, in the not-so crowded and branded as one of the best suburbs in Brooklyn. He helped load a few of his things in his car in the first three days but Yunhyeong owns a LOT and he became tired of it halfway through. It's been two weeks since the move and his friend just gave him the go-signal for his visit. Hanbin was excited, to say the least. It's like meeting an old friend again even though he always sees him. 

He pulls up in front of Yunhyeong's new house. It wasn't newly-built but knowing his friend, he would've made it seem like it is. He's definitely right. When he got out of his car, there were already garden gnomes and a few solar-powered mini lamp posts in the yard that he's never seen before. 

He texted him a while ago that he's almost there and the door opens immediately after a knock. His friend greets him with a big smile, pulling him close for a hug. But he wasn't what caught his attention. 

It was the guy standing behind him, not too near. He's wearing a navy blue sweater, loose enough to show his collarbones. Pants hugging what seems to be some muscular legs (yes, Hanbin's eyes went down) and his dark hair was in a manbun, the sides are shorter, probably shaved long before. 

"Wait." Yunhyeong breaks himself apart him, looking back at the stranger and then smiling. Hanbin couldn't take his eyes off him and he wonders if this is his friend's boyfriend, because if he is, he's in big trouble. "Sorry, I didn't notify you. Hanbin, this is Jiwon. He's the interior designer I was telling you about. I invited him because he's been a big help these past few days. I hope you don't mind. Jiwon, Hanbin." 

The guy, Jiwon, holds out his hand and smiles at him, eyes forming two adorable crescents. When Hanbin shakes it, his grip is firm. He blushes. 

During dinner, they talked about how Yunhyeong stumbled upon a company website where Jiwon works at. He clicked on a few layouts he liked and apparently, Jiwon was the one behind them all. And so he was also the one sent out to see it through. Yunhyeong said Jiwon helped with a few furniture placements too, which surprised him as his friend wasn't the type to let others meddle with how he styles his home. He vaguely even remembers the last time Yunhyeong asked him for his input about changing curtains. 

As they were talking, Hanbin noticed that Jiwon has a nice voice. It makes his throat tighten and whenever he turns his head towards him and wait for him to answer some of Yunhyeong's questions, it takes a lot of energy to find the right words. It's like his mind was going blank. And don't get him started with Jiwon's laugh. It's a sound similar to those of what you'll hear in heaven. 

But he's never been to heaven so he's not quite sure. 

"And at first it felt so awkward speaking to Jiwon in Korean because I thought he wouldn't respond." Yunhyeong snorts. "Anyway, how much do you earn from your job? Hanbin here wants to quit his. Think about it, Bin. You know shit about fashion; you could try interior design too." 

Hanbin widens his eyes at him in warning, letting out an awkward laugh. "Yun, you can't just ask someone what their salary is." He digresses, sending a smile to Jiwon's direction. 

"It's enough to pay for rent. That's all I can say." Jiwon chuckles, winking at him. Hanbin felt like that wasn’t good for his heart, he looked away. 

Jiwon excuses himself to go to the bathroom right after they have finished dinner. Yunhyeong was cleaning the table and he was just done putting the plates in the dishwasher when he comes up to him. 

“Where’d you get that guy?” Hanbin whispers, hoping Jiwon won’t come back yet because he has so many questions. 

Yunhyeong leans into him to whisper back, “You remember that hot tattooed guy I was telling you on the phone? That’s him.”

“God, if I had known I would’ve helped you unpack. He’s so hot!”

“I know, right? Have you seen his muscles?”

Hanbin shakes his head, tapping his fingers on the table. “No, obviously. He’s wearing a loose sweater!”

“Heh.” Yunhyeong snorts. “He set up the couch in a muscle tank. He’s so big!” 

Hanbin starts stomping his feet in annoyance. All those times Yunhyeong called him for help and he denied because he was busy writing something about satin or wools, he really missed his chance. 

“At least tell me he’s gay.” 

Yunhyeong wiggles his eyebrows at him, pursing his lips, and Hanbin pushes him to make him talk. “My 100% accurate gaydar tells me he is.” His friend winks. 

“On what basis?”

Yunhyeong blushes at that, probably remembering what happened. Hanbin raises an eyebrow. “He knows what a prostate massager is. He’s seen mine.”

Hanbin’s eyes go big, scandalized and he doesn’t refrain himself from laughing too loud. “Did you fuck him?”

“No. Oh my God, I was too embarrassed. Anyway, he’s all yours.”

He scrunches his nose at that, thinking it was too far-fetched. Jiwon comes knocking back into the kitchen, head tilted to the side as if he’s been waiting for them. A few strands fall on his face as he smiles. Hanbin wants to run his fingers in his hair. 

“Jiwon, you didn’t bring your car?” Yunhyeong follows them to the front door, hugging himself as it was particularly cold that night. 

“Yeah, I was getting it fixed.” Jiwon warms his hands by putting them in his pockets. Hanbin does the same, but for different reasons. He’s getting fidgety. 

“Why don’t you let Hanbin here drive you home? You don’t live too far, right?”

Hanbin almost voices out his protest, and Jiwon seems to catch on. “Don’t want to bother you, though. I’ll be fine taking a ca—“

“I’ll take you home.” 

Right then, he really did. 

And after a few weeks, Jiwon took him home too.

And after a few months, they both became each other’s.

///////

_11 months and a few days later_

Jiwon never actually locks the door whenever they fight. They share the same room even though the apartment wasn’t remotely small. It’s just the way it is. 

Before they decided to live together—which needed a lot of persuasion on Hanbin’s part, both of them had an apartment of their own. Jiwon didn’t want to move out of his, Hanbin was pretty much the same. They compensated by getting another apartment, one that is conveniently closer to their respective workplaces. It was costly, but they earn enough. 

"Hyung?" He knocks anyway. 

Jiwon was born in America. At first he thought he was like one of those ABCs1 who try to dissociate themselves from their culture, but he's met Jiwon's family. They all speak Korean inside the household, that doesn't stop Jiwon from mixing things up though. He loved that too about him. 

Hanbin's family migrated when he was 19, in pursuit of a better community for his little sister. Said better community was anything but, life was rough, they had a hard time fitting in, but they all managed eventually. So, Hanbin couldn't help himself from being a little excited whenever he meets another Korean he could speak with in the States. Like, Jiwon and Yunhyeong for example. 

"I'm coming in, okay?" 

The bedroom windows are all slid open, cold air from the outside seeping through thin silk curtains. Jiwon was lying on the too big of a bed he ordered online, it takes up most of the bedroom space but Hanbin always liked it because he never falls on the floor whenever Jiwon gets too rough. He blushes unwillingly at the thought. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, he watches as the older fumbles through the old remote. The one that stopped working after Hanbin accidentally threw it on the wall. He says he didn't mean to but Jiwon knows he did it because he was frustrated. It wasn't brought up since. 

"So, I'm gonna give my Mom a call." 

Jiwon moves to the side, running a tongue along the seams of his lips without even sparing him a glance. Hanbin takes note of the way his muscles flex; Jiwon being half naked doesn’t help much. His abs exposed and when he folds his arms on the back of his neck, head tilted upwards with his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, Hanbin’s line of vision goes directly to his full sleeve tattoo, just on the whole of his left arm. A black art of gods and goddesses that Jiwon always had to hide at work, but with him, it’s always bare. He was in awe when he first saw it. 

“Yeah, tell her your roommate’s excited to see her.” The older deadpans. 

Hanbin scoots closer to him, sighing. “I’ll tell her I’m bringing my hot boyfriend home. How’s that sound, hyung?”

There was no answer. But Hanbin knows he’s already won by the look of Jiwon raising an eyebrow at him. “Do they even know you’re gay?”

“Of course, they do! What do you take me for?” He scoffs. 

“Then why didn’t you tell them about me in the first place?”

“We don’t really talk much. Plus, I’d actually like them to see you for themselves first. You know I don’t sound convincing on the phone.” His lower lip protrudes and he catches Jiwon rolling his eyes. 

“I see how it is.” The older sits up properly, inching closer to his face. 

“What?”

“You think they won’t like me.”

“What???”

“You think they’ll think badly of me because of how I look.”

“No! Hyung, I—“

“You’re embarrassed of me.” Jiwon purses his lips, eyes meeting his and then raking down to his mouth. “I’m right, aren’t I?” 

“Okay.” Hanbin concedes. He goes on to wrap his arms around Jiwon’s bare waist, burying his face on his chest. “I was worried. But it’s not exactly as how you say it.” He looks up to see Jiwon frowning, immediately burying his face on his chest again. “I’m afraid they would judge you without seeing you first. They’re a little bit difficult, my parents. It took them so long to accept I’m gay and when they finally did, they tried to control me. Setting me up with some white guys whom they think they know better. I really don’t want them calling you some punk I met at the bar. They’ll see you so differently.”

“They’d call me that?” Hanbin hums, content with the way Jiwon was slowly easing up on him. He traces the prominent inked scar on his forearm. He used to think it was just a harsh stroke, but Jiwon told him it was from a motorbike accident when he was young. He got it covered because of some complex. Hanbin never understood how someone as good-looking and as hot as Jiwon would have a complex. But nearly everybody wasn't an exception to that.

“They once told me Yunhyeong was a gold-digger and I shouldn’t be friends with him.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, wow.”

“And you still want me to meet them?”

“Well, you could prove them wrong.”

Jiwon snorts, snaking his arms around him too, properly. He feels a light brush of lips on the side of his head and he closes his eyes. “Do you think of me as some punk though? Not that it's bad.”

“I think of you as some Greek God who hit his head and magically fell in love with me.” Hanbin answers. “But you know that already.”

Jiwon chuckles and bites on his cheek, earning a squeal from him as he writhes his way out of his hold. “Baby, what you think of me is all that matters.”

///////

“You’re telling me your family lives in Cali? And you’re actually one of those rich privileged bitches or like, I don’t know, Barbie?” Jiwon stops loading their duffle bags in the car, crossing his arms at him. 

Hanbin would like to appreciate his guns as he was wearing a muscle tank but he just dropped another bomb at Jiwon and the older is not having it. He probably feels like he’s been in bed with a secret agent. 

The truth is, his family isn’t _that_ rich. His Dad was just good at business so they lived well. His Mom was very much stingy. She’d rather splurge on things that look expensive but are actually cheap than those which are really expensive. 

“We live close to the beach.”

“Fuck, I brought too many sweaters!” Jiwon complains, opening the car door for him. Hanbin hides his smile as he gets inside. They’re using his car.

“Why? You like wearing tank tops.”

The neighborhood gets smaller as Jiwon drives away, leaning his head on the window after picking a song to listen to. 

"You might want me to cover up." 

"Huh?"

"My tattoos." Jiwon runs his fingers over his long hair. It was just the same as the first time they met, except the sides are longer. Hanbin joins his fingers, carding them through smooth raven strands. 

"You don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. Even for my sake." 

Jiwon shrugs, picking up a hair tie on the dashboard and urging him to tie his hair into a ponytail. Hanbin makes it a bun. 

"I do it at work all the time." 

"Yeah, but this isn't work, hyung. You're meeting my parents. I want them to know you." 

It's always rare to see Jiwon blush, just a tint of pink scattering through the soft skin of his neck. He plants a kiss on it, earning a false annoyed groan and a chuckle. 

"Fine, but I'll wear a jacket later so they won't be shocked." 

He doesn't argue at that.

Last time he remembers coming back to his parents' house was during his sister's birthday, nearly 6 months ago. He and Jiwon were already together then, and he did try to invite him but he thought it was too selfish to take the spotlight away from his sister so the idea was out in seconds. Jiwon also had been too busy at work that time, he called it the _house-making rally,_ wherein almost everyone from Brooklyn wanted a change. This month was the _house-making recession,_ Jiwon was free as a bird. 

When he rolls the window down, it's the same smell of sandy beaches that welcome him, the same feeling of familiarity at every palm tree they come across with, the same warmth of home. He looks at Jiwon and catches the view of the hot California sun seeping through his tanned skin, a few strands loose on his forehead.

They stop at a two-storey semi-detached house, seated in the middle of stark green bermuda grass, a metal swing placed just beside the door on the wooden porch, painted with orange and white combinations. Yeah, totally, Jiwon thinks, California reminds him of oranges for some reason. 

"You go first. I have to say a little prayer or two." Jiwon jokes, putting on a jacket even if it's undeniably hot outside. 

"I'll wait for you."

They go out at the same time. Hanbin sits on the hood of his car as Jiwon unloads the trunk, holding two duffle bags in his hands, looking uncomfortable with another layer of clothing. He almost wants to tell him to take it off. Except it gives off another idea. And he'd rather not go there, not when he's in his parents' house. 

He presses the doorbell the same time his breath hitches, alternating looks from Jiwon to the door. Feeling like they were about to rob a house and they're checking if anyone was inside. 

There was no indication of disgust or anger that shows up when his mother opens the door with a smile, eyes crinkling in delight. "Hanbin-ah." She pulls him in for a brief hug, giving the man beside him a quick glance before saying, "And you must be Jiwon, come in." 

And there it was. Hanbin had caught her. She spoke in English, but in a funny way where you drag out every syllable as if you're talking to someone who couldn't understand. When he turns his back to face Jiwon, the older didn't seem too surprised. He closes the door with a sigh. 

"Where's Pa?" He asks, taking the duffle bags away from Jiwon's hand and putting them on the couch. He roams his eyes around to check if there were any changes but the house was still the same. Cream-painted walls, silver teardrop chandelier on high ceiling, a few knock off paintings, embroidered maroon carpet she bought online which looks like it was handwoven in India. That was probably her most prized possession, and it only costs like half a hundred dollars. 

"In the kitchen. Let's go eat." She gestures exaggeratedly at Jiwon which translates as _eating lunch_ and Hanbin shakes his head, pulling at his boyfriend's arm. 

"It's about to get really difficult." He whispers. 

Jiwon snorts, whispering back, "Yeah, I can tell." But he walks to the kitchen as if it doesn't bother him and Hanbin wants to find it in himself that he wasn't bothered too.

///////

The silence was anything but comfortable, as they sat around the dining table one by one like it was a purge. He was beside Jiwon, in front of his parents, his little sister on the left adjacent, looking at them with confused eyes. 

"Why is he wearing a jacket? It's super hot." It always amazes Hanbin how Hanbyul has gotten too good with the language, and she sounds like every Malibu girl in the movies. He knows it's her friends' influence, it has to be. There's no way either of their parents would talk like that, especially not his father. 

"Oh yes, that's a bit odd." His mother adds, tilting her head as she faces Jiwon. "Do-you-mind—"she points at her head where she thinks the brain would be. "taking-it-off?" And another exaggerated gesture. 

"Mom." Hanbin eyes her sternly, frowning. "Jiwon's born in America, he knows how to speak English and he understands it perfectly. Besides, you can speak Korean to him, it's not like he's not one." He rolls his eyes. 

"I thought he's on vacation and you met him online." She explains, almost noncommittally and Hanbin can't bring himself to believe her. 

"I told you I'm living with him!" 

"I thought he's staying in your apartment." She shrugs. 

At that moment, he can feel rage stirring at the pit of his stomach. He was about to burst until Jiwon squeezes his hand, focused on his food but he knows he's restraining too. 

"I'm not even staying in _my_ apartment anymore. We moved to another one!"

His mother seems shocked at that. His father, still tight-lipped. His sister though, was unbothered, still continuing to eat. 

She brings forth her hands on the table, eyeing Jiwon as she clears his throat. "Jiwon, can you understand me?" She says in straight Korean, which has Hanbin groaning out loud in frustration. 

"Perfectly, Ma'am. We speak Korean at home." He gives out a genuine smile but Hanbin's mother didn't pay attention to it, clearing her throat once more before gesturing on his jacket.

Jiwon takes it off obediently, carefully folding it on his lap. His sleeve tattoo on full view and Hanbin hears collective gasps, his sister even dropped her fork, making a loud _clang_ sound as it hits the plate. 

His father coughs, reaching for a glass of water, eyes still lingering on Jiwon's arm down to his wrist. 

His mother scoffs, almost fanning herself. Acting as if he just brought home a criminal and he can see blotches of red rushing from her neck to her face like she was starting to get furious. 

His sister was still jaw-dropped on her seat, eyes wide. He wonders if it's the first time she sees someone with a tattoo. 

"Jiwon-ssi." His father starts, Jiwon hums, still smiling tolerantly. "What's your profession?" 

"Interior design, Sir. There's a company in Brooklyn which fortunately hired me." He chuckles. "Pretty decent." Another squeeze on his hand. "Sir." He adds. 

"Do they—they let you have tattoos? And grow your hair?" 

Hanbin wants to say that's enough. But maybe this was the purpose of Jiwon meeting his parents. It just started rough. 

"They're not very strict with the hairstyle, Sir. About the tattoos, well, it's covered whenever I go to work." Jiwon shrugs. 

"Does it hurt?" 

They all turn their heads towards his sister, propping her chin up with her palm. 

"Not quite." Jiwon winks at her. 

Hanbyul tilts her head, not convinced. "Can I get one?" 

There was a roar of disapproval from his parents, including Hanbin but Jiwon just giggles, shrugging. "Maybe when you're older."

"Absolutely not!" Her mother exclaims but Hanbyul giggles too. 

"Can't wait!"

  
  


His mother planned to have barbecue for dinner and he was forced to go get groceries with her. Jiwon was left with his father and Hanbyul, setting up the grill and tables on their lawn. 

"Call me if they start bullying you, okay?" Hanbin gives him a peck on both cheeks. Jiwon fixes his ponytail as he laughs, puckering his lips to ask for another one. Hanbin kisses him quick, not minding the stern look his mother was giving him, waiting inside the car.

"Yeah, now go." 

His mother always drives so slowly, said it was to avoid accidents but Hanbin's aware it's one of her methods to prolong their talk. He's about to have a headache from anticipation. 

"Where did you meet him?" 

"Yunhyeong's house. He was commissioned, I was helping. That's it." He slumps his back on his seat, not wanting to delve on the details.

"Where's he from?" 

"Brooklyn?"

"Where's his family from?" 

"Virginia." 

His mother nods, looking at the rear with brows furrowed. 

"Now I need you to answer me truthfully—"

"I've been answering your questions truthfully, Ma."

She rolls her eyes, pursing her lips when she asks, "Are you retaliating because of your breakup with Zach?"

"Wha—"

"He's a good guy, Bin. He called me last month asking if—"

"Oh, so this is about him now is it?" He's almost hysterical, gesturing at nothing in particular as he lets his frustrations eat him up. 

"He asked if you were still free and I told him yes." 

"What the hell, Ma?" 

"Watch your mouth." She glares, checking the back to see if she's parked well. "I told him you're single and he's coming over for dinner. I want you to be on your best behavior."

"Uh-huh and what about Jiwon?"

"Now that you've mentioned it, do something about that guy when Zach comes by. I want him out of the house. He can go back to Brooklyn or Virginia for all I care." 

Hanbin scoffs loudly. He can't believe what his mother was saying, he opens the door and gets out, slamming it back loudly. He hears his mother shout his name but he was already running away to hail a cab. 

With his phone in his hand, he dials Jiwon's number, breathing heavily and sighing it out when he answers. 

_"You done?"_

"Are you?"

_"Yeah, your sis fell asleep. Your Dad went to get ice. I'm all alone now. What's up?"_

"Would you like to go to the beach with me?" 

Jiwon seems to catch up on his tone, like he's someone asking for help and he hears a hum on the other line. 

_"Would love to. Shall I bring extra clothes for you?"_

"Yeah. Thanks, hyung. I'll meet you there. Love you."

_"Love you too, baby."_

Hanbin hopes every time he sighs, it lessens his anger. How could his mother say that? 

He tries to think of something to make her angry too, more than he is, and somehow he knows exactly what it will be.

///////

Aside from the occasional chaotic sandbar and the unstoppable skinny dipping even when it's not night yet, Hanbin thinks there was no competition when it comes to their nude beaches. 

No one seems to get over it. Rain comes to California once in a blue moon, a hard and heavy fall which leaves the tides raging. That's the only time the beach is empty. And the weather that day was far from bringing a sudden typhoon, it was hot, the kind that makes you want to chug a cold drink straight from the water jug, or one powerful mimosa. 

"What took you so long?" He takes the bag out of Jiwon's hand, checking if he brought a mat and nodding when he did. He places it carefully on the sand, under the huge striped umbrella and beside a reclining beach chair. 

"Been here for a while, couldn't find you." His boyfriend shrugs, sitting immediately on the plaid mat he just laid out as he takes off his tank top. 

He scans Jiwon before taking off his shirt too, basking in the way the golden sun reflects on his golden skin, his taut abs which look shiny under the glaze of sunscreen Jiwon spreads over it, or the way his long hair flows down his shoulders when he removes the hair tie from earlier, brushing it with his fingers and tucking behind his ears. He's sporting a grin when his eyes stop at his lips.

"You look like you wanna fuck me." Jiwon tilts his head, pulling his arms and turning him around. He feels him spreading sunscreen over his shoulders and he crosses his arms with a pout, looking up to place a kiss on Jiwon's jaw, and nipping at it. 

"You look like you belong here." He whispers against his skin, thinking about Jiwon surfing the California waves, or having a blonde girl with big chest beside him as they ride a convertible along the wide array of palm trees down the road. Shirtless and free and living his life.

Jiwon snorts, slapping his back playfully. "Funny you say that. Your parents seem to think otherwise." He kisses the part he slapped when Hanbin complained. 

"Don't mind them. They're just a bunch of hypocrites." Hanbin grits his teeth, remembering his mother's words awhile ago. He's at least thankful Jiwon's not bringing up why he's not getting groceries with her. 

"It's strange though." Jiwon rests his chin on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around his middle. It's Hanbin's favorite position ever. He likes feeling Jiwon's warmth behind him, he feels guarded. Not only that, he figured out long ago that their heartbeats match. He told Jiwon about it one time and he just said everyone has a unique beat. Hanbin rolled his eyes then. 

"They acted weird when they thought I was too Korean, and then when they found out I was born in America, they thought I was too American." Jiwon chuckles, there's a ring of disbelief at the end of it. "Plus, it makes no sense speaking to me in broken English when they think I can't understand it. If I don't speak the language, that means I can't speak it and I would never, not even when you talk to me slowly." 

It was hard for Hanbin to hear all that, how much more for Jiwon. He sighs and places his hand over his forearm, fingers tapping at the inked skin. "Sorry, my parents are a bunch of douchebags." 

"Happens to the best of us." Jiwon snickers, nosing up the line of his neck and then kissing it softly, fleetingly, like falling feathers, or something cotton–ish.

He hums, squirming a little when it got too ticklish and then his eyes widen the moment he felt the unmistakable hardness of a cock from behind him. Jiwon hums too, sucking light marks on his shoulders. He remembers the sunscreen he put there and he wonders if Jiwon can taste it. He giggles at the thought, squirming deliberately now and rubbing his ass on Jiwon's clothed cock. He smiles when he hears him groan in his ear, goosebumps breaking from his skin. 

"Wanna go skinny-dipping with me?" His boyfriend suggests. He turns around, eyes flickering downwards and he was right. Jiwon was hard. 

"It's still early, don't you think?" He answers with another question, teasing him as he traces Jiwon's thigh with the tip of his fingers, inching closer and closer until Jiwon's big hand was clamping over his, hindering him. 

"I met a naked blonde girl a while ago while waiting for you. She made me touch her boobs, says it's for charity. Cost me $20." 

Hanbin scoffs and pinches his nipple. Jiwon groans and then he was laughing hard. 

"Race you to the beach then." He starts stripping off his pants, running butt-naked towards the clear saltwater. 

Jiwon's laughter follows him through it. The next thing he knows they were making out, head over the sea, tasting salt on each other's tongue, sun-soaked and everyone else just fades away when he says, "I'm gonna marry you one day." 

Jiwon's answer was a chuckle, teeth sinking on his neck. "Yeah? Don't be so sure." 

"I've never been so sure." The older seems to accept that. He brushes the hair out of his face and kisses his forehead. 

With Jiwon, there was no time to be uncertain. 

///////

Dark velvet skies blanket the night as Jiwon embraces him tight, both of their bodies lying down on the plaid mat, his head on Jiwon's chest, tracing nonsensical patterns on his stomach. 

The last time they went on a vacation together was months ago, in London. He wouldn't actually call it as such because they were there for Jiwon's work but he still enjoyed their time. Well, he wouldn't call today as vacation either because his parents were giving Jiwon a headache. However, he did find it peaceful right at that moment, just the two of them counting stars. He hates that it's supposed to end early. And he'll be the one to break it. 

"Hyung." 

"Hmm? Wanna go back?"

He doesn't shake his head, instead the patterns he's tracing on his skin with the tip of his fingers becomes sensible and it says _stay here forever,_ in cursive, in English, in Korean, in morse code. Jiwon wouldn't know. 

"My mother invited Zach for dinner." He says, shifting as he lifts his head to look at his reaction.

Jiwon seems confused. "Who's Zach?"

"My ex." 

"Oh." Jiwon nods. He's probably thinking that's why. "The more the merrier?"

Hanbin rolls his eyes at that, pressing his cheek on Jiwon's chest and staring straight at him. "We broke up 11 months ago." 

"When you met me?"

"Yeah." He nods.

"Are you gonna say that you still love him? 'Cause that sucks." Jiwon pokes his cheek. Hanbin pinches his side. 

"No, you idiot. I hated him before but I literally don't have any feelings for him anymore, not even disgust. Well, maybe just a little disgust." 

The older laughs, ruffling his hair. "What are you so worried about?" 

Hanbin sighs. "She told him I'm single." 

"Now, _that_ sucks." 

"I know! And I really told her last night that we're together. I wasn't even being implicit about it. I said you're my boyfriend, like lovers, like we're fucking."

"You really told her we're fucking?"

"No. But she gets gist."

"Alright, let's go show Zach that we're fucking." Jiwon chortles as he pushes him off him, standing up and offering a hand to pull him up. Hanbin slaps his wrist before taking it. 

He heaves out another sigh before they head home. 

  
  


It was even worse than he expected. His mother was looking at Jiwon like he was indeed a criminal, eyeing him from head to toe. Jiwon hugs himself through the cold, wearing a plain black shirt and Hanbin holds his hand as they walk closer to the backyard. 

"What's he doing here?" She asks, not even discreet about it. Jiwon averts his eyes, his other hand scratching his neck. 

"Didn't we have lunch together a while ago? I introduced him as my boyfriend, right? Or was all that just a dream?" Hanbin shakes his head as he walks past her, pulling Jiwon with him. 

They meet his father and Hanbyul in the backyard, busy grilling meat. When he sees them, he's tight-lipped again and Hanbin wonders what the fuck his family's problem is.

"Jiwon!" Hanbyul skips towards them, eyeing Jiwon's tattoo in awe. Something tells him they've probably bonded while he was gone and that makes him relieved. At least his sister was decent, even though she's been speaking English a whole lot more than she's speaking Korean. 

The inevitable comes not long after they were settled on the wooden chairs. It was awkward and silent, save from the constant frizzle of the meat Jiwon was grilling. His father was drinking beside him, telling him how it's done and Hanbin refrains himself from interfering because he might make it worse. His mother was tapping her fingers on the table, occasionally checking the gate and he knows exactly who she's waiting for. 

She doesn't hide the fact that she's more ecstatic to see his ex than him or Jiwon. She's walking to the gate with a wide smile, big steps. She welcomes Zach in a tight hug, gesturing towards him, them. Hanbin almost rolls his eyes. He looks back at Jiwon but he wasn't staring, just busy grilling meat and talking to his father. 

"Zachary is here." His mother announces, the language shifts and suddenly everyone was speaking English. His father was smiling, greeting Zach like they were old friends. Hanbyul waves at him for a second and then she's back on her phone. 

"Hanbin, go greet Zach. I know you've been dying to see him." She giggles, pushing him lightly. Hanbin furrows his brows and scoffs softly. 

"Hey, Zach. And no, I wasn't dying to see you. I actually have a boyf—"

His mother claps loudly, laughing after. "Let's go eat meat, yes?" 

He actually met Zach in college. But he wasn't even sure if he was gay then, and they weren't that close. He remembered it was a brief reunion that made them see each other again. Nothing remarkable happened. 

And then his mother set him up on a blinddate, it was with Zach. He has no choice. They made it work for at least two years, on and off. Zach was difficult, Hanbin got tired easily and so they called it quits. 

Zach was originally from New Jersey, but he decided to go study somewhere far and then he ended up teaching surfing lessons in Cali so he stayed. He knows why he used to like him though. Tall, fair, handsome, with delicate features and blue eyes. His hair was a fluff of light brown curls which fall on his forehead, like those of angel sculptures, so soft and they fit perfectly in between his fingers. But he also knows why he stopped liking him. It started with sharp words, cutting his heart open and leaving him to bleed out. He thought it was worse than being punched in the gut. Because bruises fade but scars linger. And Hanbin has endured so many things just to fix their relationship. It's something his parents wouldn't understand. It's something he refuses to tell them. All they know is that they both fell out of love. They don't know how or why. Sometimes, Hanbin wishes they do. So things like this wouldn't happen. Especially not in front of Jiwon.

The only noise from their table was Zach and his mother catching up. Jiwon was still grilling meat on the side, he wants to call him but he decides against it. Zach changes seat and now he's beside him. Hanbin grunts. 

Right on time, Jiwon sits beside him too. And now he's in the middle of two grown men who isn't familiar with each other, his mother was looking at him expectantly but he brushes her off and talks to Jiwon instead, back facing Zach. 

"You must be hungry, hyung." He clings onto his arm, which his mother noticed and he knows she's screeching inside. 

Jiwon shrugs, grinning. "More like thirsty. I'll get some water." He stands up again and looks at his parents as if he was asking for permission. 

"I'll come with!"

"No, Hanbin, stay." She gives him a stern look and Jiwon mouths _it's fine._ He slumps on his chair and watches as Jiwon disappears inside the house. 

"Who's that?" Zach asks to no one in particular, but Hanbin figures he wants him to be the one to answer. 

"My boyfriend." Hanbin says, drinking in the way Zach's eyebrows meet. 

"Hanbin's friend." His mother corrects. "Don't worry about him." She smiles and gestures for him to eat. Hanbin glares at her and then he hears Hanbyul's giggle. 

"Zach, do you have a tattoo?" His little sister asks, earning a shush from her mother but she just shrugs. 

"No." Zach shakes his head. "Not yet?" He adds. Hanbin wants to snort at that. Zach would never get one. He's too much of a _good son_ for that. 

"Hanbinie likes bad boys now." Hanbyul says before stuffing meat in her mouth. His mother calls her name in warning and Hanbin slips a laugh. 

Jiwon comes back with a pitcher of water in his hand, setting it down on the table. He hears a click of a tongue from beside him and it's Zach who's got a clear view of Jiwon's tattoo. 

"From which gang are you, bro?" He says it like he's being funny but nobody's laughing except maybe Zach's bad conscience. Hanbin wants to smack him in the face. 

"Oh, it's the one from Florida. Forgot what it's called but they give free candies to new recruits so maybe you should try getting in." Jiwon smirks, brushing his long hair away from his face. "Bro." He adds and Hanbin hears a tone of condescension. 

"Nah, I love my life too much. And I don't want people close to me to be at risk." Zach makes a move to put a hand above him on the table. Jiwon stares at it for a while and Hanbin immediately retrieves it, as if burned. He suddenly feels guilty. 

"Do you seriously believe I'm in a gang?" He chuckles, shaking his head. 

"I don't know, man. You sound so believable." Zach chuckles too. 

Jiwon tilts his head and raises an eyebrow. Hanbin takes note of the way they're so different from each other. While Zach was soft and delicate, Jiwon was sharp and rough. And he's much bigger, much taller than the curly brown-haired boy beside him. He shivers unknowingly at that thought. 

"Better watch your back then." Jiwon pushes a tongue inside his cheek. 

This would not end well. 

///////

The thing is, Hanbin's expectations when it comes to his mother's redemption were low, but he didn't expect her to go this far. It was past 10 in the evening when they all decided to pack it up. 

Hanbin already has their bags in his hands and he was on his way to his bedroom with Jiwon when she stopped them. 

"What now?" He grunts, refraining himself from rolling his eyes and stomping his feet. Had he known it would be this frustrating to come home, he wouldn't have done it. 

She ignores him and turns to Jiwon. "The guestroom is ready, it's at the end of that hall." She points at the door on the far right. 

"Thanks, Ma'am, uh, Mrs. Kim?" Jiwon tries to take his bag from Hanbin's grip but the younger won't let him. 

"No, he's staying in my bedroom." He protests. 

"He's a guest."

"He's my boyfriend!"

"Yeah, and a guest." His mother was starting to sound disinterested until Hanbin remembered something. 

"And what about Zach?" He cocks a brow. 

"He's staying with you since Jiwon's in the guest room." She shrugs. 

"What the fu—"

"It's not like it's the first time you guys are sleeping together." And then she was walking past them and heading downstairs. 

"Wow." Jiwon scrunches his nose at him. "She really hates me, huh?" 

He successfully retrieves his bag when Hanbin was too dumbstruck to complain. 

"No, wait hyung, don't listen to her. I'm coming with you." 

Jiwon sighs, patting his shoulder. "Come by when Zach's asleep or something. Just to appease your mother. Good night, baby." He kisses his forehead and then walks to the direction of the guest room. 

Hanbin couldn't even follow him because he felt stuck in his place. His mother has to be playing some shit on him. It doesn't make sense. 

When he opens the door to his bedroom, still the same as the way he left it before, but with different bedsheets, Zach was already preparing to sleep on the couch. 

He glares at him and goes to open his closet to put his bag in, getting some clothes so he could change. He could feel his stares following him and he scoffs, not really planning on talking to him in any way. It'll only satisfy his mother if he did. 

"You don't seem happy with him." Zach drawls, he turns abruptly to face him and he's already lying on the couch with his arms folded behind his head. 

"I'm actually fucking happy with him, Zach. I'm ecstatic. I'm over the moon. God." 

"Just saying. You don't look like that when you were with me." He yawns and Hanbin fights the urge to strangle him and call it an accident. 

"Shut up, Zach." He's too tired to even argue, he just heads to the bathroom to take a shower and possibly clear his thoughts. 

He starts thinking about all the time he introduced someone home. The first one, before Zach, was a tall white dude he met online. She was fine with it, although they seemed awkward because it was just months before he came out. Later on when they didn't work out, she set him up with Zach whom she apparently met in a summer workout class. She was fine with him too, obviously still is. Then after Zach, there was another guy she tried setting him up with again. Which didn't have a follow-up because he thought he was too old. And then there was Jiwon, the odd one out. He couldn't comprehend why she would hate him when Jiwon is the only guy closer to home. 

Everyone else felt like a filler, someone he met along the way just to meet Jiwon at the end. He was much happier with him. Why can't she understand that that's what matters to him the most? 

Zach was already asleep when he got out. He quickly dries his hair with a towel and tiptoes out of his bedroom, closing the door carefully. He threads to the guest room, contemplating on whether to knock or just open it in an instant. He figures Jiwon wasn't expecting anyone other than him anyway, and it's not like his mother would visit him so he turns the knob, taking a peek on whatever Jiwon was doing before revealing himself. 

His boyfriend was half-lying on the bed, head propped by two pillows, eyes focused on his phone. He's wearing a white tank top and grey sweatpants, hair pushed back and in a man bun. He thought it was unfair how Jiwon's about to sleep but he looks this _hot._

He catches his attention when the door closes, smiling with his eyes. 

"Hey." He puts his phone down. "Didn't expect you to come by so soon."

"Zach passed out." Jiwon snorts, tapping the space beside him and Hanbin happily jumps on the bed and sits by his side. Jiwon rests his hand on his thigh. 

"Too bad for him." The older smirks. "Good for us, though." He winks. 

Hanbin blushes, he starts playing with Jiwon's palm, biting on his lip. And Jiwon knows that look very well. He never once mistaken it for anything else except Hanbin being _inviting._

"Baby, these walls are thin." He says it matter-of-factly, as if Hanbin doesn't already know. "I heard your parents arguing in the other room. That's how I knew." Jiwon opens up his palm even more so Hanbin could keep playing on it. 

"Just want to apologize." Hanbin mumbles, running the tip of his fingers on the lines of Jiwon's hand, up, up until they reach his forearm, past the covered skin and scars. "Apologize properly." 

Jiwon takes his face in his other hand, rubbing his cheek with his thumb. "You know I can't fuck you in your parent's house, right?" 

"Why not?" He sulks. "You fucked me in your parents house." 

"They were out. Your parents are in the next room, walls are thin." 

"I won't make a sound!" 

Jiwon looks like he's about to laugh at him so he pouts, pushing his hand away. 

"You got big claims, baby." Jiwon kisses his forehead. "Big claims." 

"Just...I don't know, touch me? Or let me touch you? I didn't come here for nothing, hyung."

Sometimes, being half 50 has its perks. But Hanbin manifests most of his downsides towards Jiwon, like acting childish for example. The 31-year old always indulges him though. He thinks he's a bit spoiled.

"Oh really? Because I thought you missed me, that's why you came here." 

"Ugh, you're no fun." He's about to leave but Jiwon pulls him to the bed again, butt landing on his thigh. 

"Wanna show me how sorry you are?" Jiwon's voice becomes lower, eyes darker and he gulps as he nods, watching his lips form a smirk. "Come here then." He taps his lap and Hanbin kicks off his slippers to straddle him, Jiwon places a kiss on their entwined fingers, not breaking gazes. 

His kisses travel to his wrist, and he shivers as he feels his lips sucking on his skin softly, up to his arm, then to his shoulders, hot breath on his neck, and when he reaches his lips, he doesn't waste his time, opening his mouth and letting in his tongue. Jiwon always kisses like he's a romantic, no matter how rough the sex gets, he's always slow on the lips, licking and sucking and panting in between.

When Hanbin kissed him for the first time, Jiwon didn't even move, too shocked to do so. But when his fist tightened on his shirt, rain falling down on both of their bodies, Jiwon held his face and kissed him back, so deep, so slow, it started a fire inside of him and he didn't know if he was shivering from the cold or because Jiwon was tearing down his walls into pieces, one stroke of a tongue at a time. 

"Should we take this off?" He whispers in his ear, holding the hem of his shirt, fingers ghosting on his navel. 

"Hmmm." He answers, eyes closed and hands on his shoulders. 

"Should we? Come on, baby, I want an answer."

"Yes." He gasps, Jiwon's lips connecting on the sensitive part of his neck, the one that tickles at first but slowly starts to make him feel hot and bothered. "Yes, we should." 

And so off goes his shirt. He raises his hand as Jiwon pulls it over his head, hugging himself when he stares at him. Jiwon pulls his waist up and settles him so that he's sitting on his stomach, he gives him one last look before he was dipping down to suck on his nipple, hungrily, fervently, fast and then slowing down in circles. It earns a delicious moan out of his lips and he covers them immediately in shock. Jiwon grabs his ass and sucks on the other. 

"Fuck." He curses when Jiwon bites, fingers slipping on his tied hair and he wonders if he has messed him up. "Fuck, hyung." He whines. 

Jiwon lets him go, looking up at him with his tongue out, flicking his nipple one last time in what feels like a slow motion because he's moving too fucking gentle. 

"Do you fucking think I'm a girl?" He grits, still shaking a little and Jiwon chuckles. 

"Keep thinking about that naked blonde who let me touch her boobs awhile ago. Sorry." He teases, laughing again when Hanbin rolls his eyes, leaning back. 

"Shut up." He glares, and when he fixes his position on top of him, lowering himself down so he's back sitting on the bed, he feels something poking him from behind and sees him hard through his sweatpants. "Hyung, you're hard." 

Jiwon folds his arms on the back of his head, raising a brow at him. "What's baby gonna do if hyung is hard?" 

It still surprises him whenever Jiwon talks in English in bed. They almost always talk in Korean with each other, except when they're out with other people. 

"I'll...well, I'll suck you off." He feels his cheeks heaten as he stares shyly at Jiwon, who was cooing at him. 

"Baby gonna suck me off?"

"Yeah. I'll do it." 

Jiwon giggles as he eases down his sweats, pulling his hard cock out—he found it _too Jiwon_ of him to not wear boxers in bed—and stroking it slowly. Hanbin watches his hand go up and down, gulping. He remembers one time a few months ago before they had their first fuck, Yunhyeong told him not to expect much because he's too used to _white cocks._ But Jiwon was definitely bigger than average, and he fucked him so good he really passed out from cumming too much. He smacked Yunhyeong for bluffing after that. 

"Come here and let me fuck your mouth then." 

He lowers his head and tentatively replaces Jiwon's hand with his. Hanbin was never good at deepthroating, says his mouth is too small for it. Anyway, Jiwon's always fine with whatever he can give. And he gives as good as he gets. 

He opens his mouth and lets his tongue out, eyes focused on Jiwon's as saliva drips down from the tip of his tongue, connecting with the tip of Jiwon's dick and before the older could even curse at him, he takes him in his mouth, bobbing his head in time with his strokes. Jiwon tenses when his other hand crawls up his navel, fingers curling on soft hairs, circling, tracing, pressing. _God, he tastes so good._

His tongue is flat as he speeds up, and he knows Jiwon's enjoying it because he's suddenly thrusting shallowly in his mouth, low groans escaping his lips. Hanbin takes a break, releasing him inch by inch. He rests his head on his thigh but he continues stroking his shaft, looking at Jiwon through his fringe. His hair was a mess, strands falling on the side of his face, eyes closed, brows furrowed, mouth open as he pressed his thumb on his spit-slicked slit. Hanbin thinks he's so beautiful. He wonders how'd he get so lucky. 

He places a soft kiss on his thigh, and then Jiwon opens his eyes and they meet. He starts working on a hickey, just for the fun of it. 

"Hyung, you look so hot." He murmurs. 

"Yeah, get your mouth on me, baby. Make me cum." 

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. Jiwon chukles because he knows Hanbin's disappointed that he didn't blush. He always told him that flattery doesn't get him anywhere, and Jiwon was probably too sick of all the times he said he looked hot. Hanbin's just too absorbed in everything about him to stop. 

Jiwon pulls at his hair and his hips are suddenly snapping to fuck his mouth, Hanbin holds on his thigh to still him. He tries breathing through his nose, relaxing his tongue and then his eyes widen when Jiwon suddenly hits the back of his throat. 

"Fuck. That feels good."

_Fuck. That feels good!_

Hanbin couldn't believe it would do something to him as well. He thought it was all about Jiwon, until his stomach was tightening, he's discreetly rutting on the bed and every time Jiwon reaches his throat they both moan. 

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand after swallowing his cum, freefalling beside Jiwon and resting his arm over his chest. 

"Okay, so apology accepted?" Jiwon teases, kissing the crown of his head. He shifts on the bed and Hanbin knows he's fixing his clothes, but he's too tired to open his eyes to confirm it. 

"Shut up."

"I'll take every shit your family gives me. Thanks for swallowing, by the way." He laughs out loud when Hanbin slaps his chest. 

"Whatever." Hanbin murmurs. 

He starts drifting off to sleep but he says one last thing before he finally gives in. 

"You look beautiful when you cum..." He yawns. "...by the way."

And since the universe is probably against his victory, he misses the way Jiwon blushes as he spoons him. He's off to dreamland in seconds.

///////

Hanbin was surprised to find out that Jiwon wasn't beside him when he woke up. And even more when he realized he's already inside his own bedroom, with Zach snoring on the couch. He's come to the conclusion that Jiwon might've carried him back, and quite honestly, he feels like they were in high school hiding their relationship. He grumbles as he fixes his state, Zach wakes up not soon after. 

"That dude took you here." He murmurs, scrubbing his face with his palm.

"That dude is my boyfriend." He wonders how many times does he have to say it, just to prove a point.

"Heard we're going to the beach today." Zach digresses, sitting up as he stretches. 

"Why we? You should go home, Zach." 

"I missed you."

Hanbin scoffs. Yunhyeong was right again when he said white men has the biggest audacity. "I didn't."

He leaves him in his bedroom to go back to where Jiwon was. He's still sleeping when he opened the door, on his stomach and shirtless. Hanbin watches as he stirs from the rays hitting his face.

"Morning, hyung." 

"Morning, baby." Jiwon mumbles, still eyes closed. Hanbin pokes his cheek repeatedly to wake him up. 

"The room smells like sex." He whispers in his ear, giggling when Jiwon groans, irritated that he's bothering him. 

"Miss blonde from the beach visited me in my dreams. That's why." Jiwon receives a hit on the butt for that. He's complaining as he wakes up. 

"You keep on mentioning that blonde, I'm starting to get suspicious." He crosses his arms. Jiwon immediately pulls him down on the bed so that they're lying together. 

"Miss blonde is you when you cross-dressed last Halloween." Jiwon whispers on his neck, pressing his lips there. He rolls his eyes and tells him about going to the beach so he better prepare. Jiwon offers they take a shower together and Hanbin wasn't going to say no to that. 

They took longer than expected. 

  
  


The beach wasn't as packed as it was when he and Jiwon went there yesterday. They all settled on a cottage and Hanbyul even brought some of her friends (they all looked at Jiwon curiously, lingering over his eye-catching tattoo). 

It was just any other day for his family, the only difference is that they were with Jiwon...and Zach. It doesn't help that the two grown men seem to have a little competition going over their heads because they've been trying to outdo each other every chance they get. Hanbin didn't know Jiwon could be petty too. With Zach, it was expected. He's always been like that. 

One good example would be when Jiwon took off his shirt, Zach did too. And of course Hanbin was embarrassed when he looked at the both of them, who was far too different in terms of physique. Zach was lean and fair, and he's got a little bit of chest hair. Jiwon had broader shoulders, and he works out regularly so of course he's got more muscles. Part of his complex would be he's got little to no body hairs at all but Hanbin _loves_ that about him. Jiwon's skin feels like that of a baby's.

Another one is when Hanbyul basically orchestrated a sand castle competition, the girls joining too, of course, but it's more of a battle between the boys actually. He rolled his eyes when Jiwon competitively put his all towards what he's building. Zach was having troubles getting the sand to stay up and Hanbin helped him out of pity.

"Hyung, you're taking this too seriously." He touches Jiwon's creased forehead to smoothen it after he was done helping Zach. 

"No, I'm enjoying this." He deadpans. 

Hanbin thinks Jiwon being an interior designer adds to the fact of him wanting to win. It's a matter of pride, really. But seeing Zach struggle with just one bucket of sand and giving up by putting a smiley face beside it, he thinks Jiwon already won this round. 

The latest competition they have indirectly agreed to was surfing. Jiwon likes to surf as a hobby, but Zach used to surf for a living so there's no doubt on who's better. He's watching them tackle the waves from a recliner, under the rainbow-colored umbrella and behind his aviators. Jiwon got thrown off the water and Hanbin almost stands up from his seat, getting worried until he sees him floating over and then swimming back to the shore. Zach's still on it but Jiwon's already running towards him with a stupid smile on his face, hair pushed back and skin glistening. 

"Lost my hair tie." He sits beside him, taking the orange juice from his hand and downing it in one go.

"I got another one here." Hanbin shows his wrist, where a purple elastic hair tie was on. It became a habit of his to wear one just in case Jiwon needed it. It's pretty convenient because the older often forgets to bring his own. 

"Later." He follows Jiwon's line of vision and sees that he's watching Zach surf. "He's really good."

"Yeah. He used to try to teach me before but gave up after a few days." Hanbin laughs at the memory. "I have the worst sense of balance." 

Jiwon turns his back from the sea to look at him, smirking. "Oh really? Because I remember you balancing so well when I was fucking you on that sex swing we got as a gift." His eyebrows go up and down and Hanbin can feel his cheeks burn to red. 

"Shut up." He says sharply, earning a laugh from Jiwon as he takes his wrist and gently takes off the purple band to tie his drying hair. 

The storm comes when his family calls for a quick picture. Hanbin was pulling Jiwon over to where they are until his mother speaks. 

"Jiwon, can you take a picture of us?" She's handing him a digital camera and Hanbin's brows furrowed. Zach was already beside Hanbin's father, getting ready to have their picture taken. 

Jiwon smiles politely and pats his hand on the towel on the table to dry them, taking the camera. Hanbin protests. 

"No, we're calling someone to take a picture of us. With Jiwon." 

"It's a family picture."

"Jiwon is family. And Zach is literally there, he's not even Korean???"

Jiwon squeezes his hand and gives him a look that says _be calm._ Hanbin takes a deep breath.

"Baby, it's fine." He faces him, still sulky. His mother was waiting for him by the cottage where his family (and Zach) was lined up. "I told you I'd take all their shit. Now, go." 

Hesitantly, he strides towards where his family is. He looks at Jiwon and not at the camera he's holding. When his boyfriend smiles as he counts to three, his heart breaks. Right then, he swears he'll ask his mother what her problem with Jiwon is because he doesn't deserve this. 

  
  


On their way back to their house, his mother even made Zach ride Jiwon's car. Hanbin was seething if it wasn't still obvious but Jiwon seems to not mind it. He was even making small talks, which Zach answers with witty smug remarks that has Hanbin rolling his eyes after every sentence. 

"Where'd you guys meet anyway?" Zach asks, Hanbin stares at Jiwon, doesn't want to answer him himself. 

"We met in a club brawl." Jiwon laughs at his own reply, Hanbin almost did too but he bites the inside of his cheeks and leans his head on the window. 

"No way."

"Yeah, you should've seen Hanbin throwing a punch. I thought he was a boxer, it was love at first sight." Hanbin finally laughs at that. 

During the ride, he learns not to mind Zach that much too. Jiwon glances at him once and twice with a smile, Hanbin leans in to spontaneously kiss the fleeting dimple on his cheek. He's so in love with him he wonders if he'll ever recover if Jiwon leaves. 

///////

Unlike every other thing he does, he never really planned this. All he knows is that it's the only way to get his mother angrier. 

The ordeal happened while they were eating lunch in the garden. Hanbyul's friends were gone but Zach was still around and Hanbin was starting to lose it. They were all seated around the wooden table, Jiwon beside him and Zach in front. 

It was going well, Jiwon was cutting his chicken meat into strips, just how he likes it. He was pouring water on his glass. He was wiping sauce off the side of his lips. It was all natural until his mother says, "Zach, do you happen to remember that bread you used to bring home for Hanbin back then? I've searched everywhere for it but to no luck. Hanbin craves for it sometimes."

His eyes widen and he gives his mother a stare. She wasn't lying, he did call her before to send some bread preferably that one Zach always gives him. But why the hell would she bring that up right now, of all time? 

"You should've called me. I'll make sure to bring some next time." Zach smiles. 

"You used to take good care of our Hanbin back then. He calls me up sometimes to tell me he misses you. Of course only when he's drunk because that's when he's really honest." She adds. 

He clenches his fist below the table. Again, that wasn't a lie either. He did call her when he was drunk to tell her he misses Zach once. And that was months ago before he even met Jiwon. 

Hanbyul chokes on her water and clears her throat. Zach laughs and says, "We had a good talk last night about the good days." 

Now, that's a lie! They didn't even talk. He wasn't even in his bedroom. 

"How I wish you're still togeth—" He cuts her off by standing, breathing shallowly through his nose. 

"Okay, Ma. That's enough. That's disrespectful to Jiwon." She rolls her eyes. 

"Why are you standing?" Hanbyul asks. 

"I have an announcement." He declares bravely. Jiwon narrows his eyes. 

"See, I've been thinking about it for the longest time and I think now is a great opportunity." He turns his head to Jiwon, who was still confused. "Hyung." He calls, and then suddenly he's kneeling. His mother gasps, Hanbyul gasps. Jiwon's still looking at him like he's wanting him to say sike. He pulls out a box in his pocket and opens it to reveal a simple gold band, no diamonds, no carving. Just how they both like. "Will you marry me?" 

He never really expected Jiwon to say yes right away. He never expected him to decline either. He knows he'll be shocked. He knows he'll be at loss for words. But he never thought Jiwon would look at him like he's angry, like he's been ganged up on and then he's excusing himself and leaving him still kneeling on the ground. 

His world stops and he's stuck. The noises surrounding him come to a halt and the only thing he could hear was the frantic beating of his heart, scared, worried.

He's at least thankful Jiwon didn't bring the car. That way, he knows he'll be back. 

  
  


"Zach went home." His mother announces, coming inside his room. He's buried in his bed with the blanket from the guest room, sniffing Jiwon's scent like a hormonal teenager and willing himself not to cry. Not because he got rejected but because Jiwon looked like he was mad at him before he took off. 

"Don't care."

"I hope that boy you brought here went home too. He's not welcome anymore." 

He sits up at that, looking at her with a scowl. "You never welcomed him in the first place! I don't understand what the hell is your problem with him!" He exclaims. "And bringing Zach here? Really, Ma?"

"Zach is at least good for you." 

He laughs hysterically at that, feeling hopeless. "Good for me? He ruined my self-esteem! He told me how worthless I am without him and he almost hit me. He almost laid a hand on me. How the hell is that good?"

"So it's okay to bring a criminal here?" 

"Criminal? What criminal? What are you talking about?"

It's his mother's turn to laugh, a mocking one that echoes in his ears. "See? You don't even know! That Jiwon, he's a criminal. He beat up people and took their money and he got imprisoned for it. You think I wouldn't do a background check on him? You think I would let you be with someone like that?" 

And there it is. That was the reason. Hanbin couldn't believe his mother would go this far. She doesn't seem to know the full story. He knows it too. Jiwon told him about it right after their first night together. He said he's giving him a reason to back out before they really, fully commit. But Jiwon was a good fucking person and his intentions were just as good as him. 

"Do you really think he wouldn't tell me that? He was only there for 24 hours and he beat up an abuser who was his friend's boyfriend. You got it all wrong, Ma."

"Of course, that's what he would tell you. He's a liar."

And that's also when Hanbin realized he couldn't win this. She had already made up her mind to hate on Jiwon. Nothing will change even if he bleeds for it. For him. 

"You don't know him. You didn't even try to get to know him."

She shakes her head with finality, sighing. She probably thinks he's brainwashed but he did his research too. Even if it'll mean that he didn't trust Jiwon enough. He did it to appease his mind. Jiwon saved his friend. The victim is in a better place now. 

"I'll leave with him tomorrow. I'll go home. I don't feel safe here." He doesn't hear a complaint. Then the door closes and she's gone. 

He falls asleep some time after 8, waking up at 11 to pack his and Jiwon's bags. Their phones are connected so he knows exactly where he is. He loads their duffle bags in the trunk, leaving a note for Hanbyul that he's leaving. 

Jiwon was actually passing time just outside the village, he parks in front of him, Jiwon looks up from his phone, leaning on the railings of the shed he's in. He gets out and stares at him apologetically, fingers playing with the hem of his shirt. Jiwon doesn't look mad now, but he still has the sharp eyes raking him down. 

"I feel so embarrassed." He starts, already blushing. 

Jiwon walks up to him, closer until they were face to face. "Yeah? Why's that?" It feels like he was being patronized, but that's just Jiwon's way of making him say what he wants. 

"Because I proposed...and…"

"And I declined?"

Hanbin groans, "No. Because I think I pressured you into answering. And that feels manipulative. And I know you don't like it. Hyung, I'm sorry." He looks up into his eyes with guilt. Jiwon nods. 

"You proposed to me out of spite to your mother, baby. That's wrong." He walks even closer until his back hits the side of his car. 

"I know."

"You proposed to me because it'll make her mad." He can feel his breath on his face now. 

"Yes."

"Don't you think it's too early for that though?" 

"Huh?"

"Marriage."

"I don't know. I just wanna marry you." Jiwon chuckles at his answer. 

"I get it. You love me so much?" The older tilts his head. 

Hanbin nods. "I do. You know, I do."

"I love you so much too." Jiwon kisses him then, soft and slow, and all things good. "So much, baby." 

"Hyung, there's no one in here." He pants. Jiwon starts nibbling on his neck. 

"You sure?"

"Yeah. People actually sleep in Cali. Unlike NYC." Jiwon snorts at that.

And the next thing he knows he was being shoved on the hood of the car, his pants being pulled down to his ankles. He doesn't have the time to keep his sanity when Jiwon sucks him to hardness, on top of the car, legs up in the air as Jiwon's tongue goes lower, fat stripes up his ass and then rimming him out in the open. 

"Hyung." He gasps. If he focuses hard enough, all he would hear will be the slurping sounds Jiwon makes underneath him, how he growls and how it sends shivers down his spine. All he would feel will be Jiwon's tight grip on his thighs, the humid air hitting his exposed skin, the cold metal of Jiwon's car hood and Jiwon's hot tongue trying to breach him, spit trickling down. "Hyu—ahh—hyung!" 

He takes his hair in his hand and pulls at it. By the time Jiwon was done, he was a mess, his cock leaking and he couldn't even raise his head to look at Jiwon, who was unzipping his pants. He hears him halt mid-strip. 

"Do I fuck you here or should we go home first?"

Hanbin voices out his protest, Jiwon laughs. "If you don't fuck me now I'll drive back home without you." 

And so Jiwon wastes no time. He takes him twice that night, skin on skin, tongue to tongue, glistening with sweat under the moonlight and a few muttered confessions of love under their breaths. 

  
  


Too worn out to drive back home, Hanbin settles himself on the passenger seat. Well, actually, Jiwon settled him there, peppered with kisses and giggles and Hanbin feels so happy he never wanted to let him go. 

"You sure you want to go home?" Jiwon asks, pulling a blanket on the back seat and giving it to him. Hanbin wraps himself in it, yawning. He still feels a little sticky from behind but the want to sleep makes him forget about it momentarily. 

"Hmm-mmm. Our bed's more comfortable anyway." 

"Your father seems okay though." 

"He's complacent. That's just as bad." 

Jiwon shrugs. "Well, your sister is cool." 

Hanbin smiles at that. "She is. She gave me a drawing of your tattoo, by the way. Told me to give to you." 

Jiwon smiles too. "Nice." 

It takes at least two days to get to California from New York. Hanbin wonders if they just saved up those days to spend time together at home. Maybe he really is the harbinger of bad ideas. Maybe Jiwon should straight up tell him no and stop making him go through with his decisions. 

"Whose ring was it anyway? Did you really buy one for me?" 

Hanbin shakes his head weakly. "Co-worker. I was hoping we could pretend." He jokes. Jiwon laughs at that too.

"You should talk to your parents more, though. To avoid misunderstanding." Jiwon says. 

If only he knew. 

"I'll try to call them." 

He stares at the side of his face, trying to stay awake just to watch him drive. Years from now, he hopes to wake up in this same scene, this same spot. Jiwon completes him, whether by his presence or absence. He's somewhere stuck deep inside his heart. He thinks it's selfish but he has no plans on showing him the way out. 

"Wake me up when it's my time to drive, hyung. Let's not stop at motels. I wanna go home as fast as possible." He slurs his words but he's sure Jiwon understands. He said he wants to go home as soon as possible but he's sure he already is. 

Jiwon understands that too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   1. American-Born Chinese [return to text]
> 

> 
> I've been trying to update all my stories (even wips) but I couldn't pass up an opportunity to finish this one before it evaporates out of my mind so here it is. I hope you guys liked it!
> 
> Leave some thoughts please (but only if you want!)


End file.
